quotes..

Again: Quotes I want to remember

Me: I know, Mommy's and daddys say no a lot
Ayumi: You're just scared to say yes

Jonah: Mommy! I had the best dream ever! I dreamt that I went to sammi's house and got to stay with him forever.
Me: But Jonah, that makes me so sad because I'd never see you again
Jonah: No it's okay, you guys were dead

Ayumi: Mommy, it's not that I"m tired, it's just that my eyes won't stay open

Ayumi: Mommy, you sometimes lie.

Jonah: Ayumi, when can we play batman, superman and wonderful woman?

camping

Waking up next to zebra and buffalo (separated by an electric fence because I Would not want to wake up next to the lions that are also around) is awesome. I never though that I'd go camping here but we did this last weekend to escape the Halloween madness and what a good move it was. Reconnected to nature and wide open spaces

Checking for animals

Freedom!!

View from our campsite



Sunrise way to early in the morning

Alex's début camping trip



Bush road looking for animals

Out on the plain with buffalo and giraffe



Our campsite

our protective fence

6 months. Really! Really?! Really.

I don't understand emotionally how I am already at the six month mark with Alex. Six months since I was in a hospital bed in Germany getting induced and smelling my mom and Kimi's nasty pizza while reading David Sedaris during labor. Six months since sweet baby Alex came into this world and was nearly born on a toilet. What is he up to these days you ask? Here are the highlights

- He has cut his fist two teeth on the bottom last week
- This kid can hold a plank position like no-ones business especially when he doesn't have socks on
- You have to work to make Alex laugh, but when he's in the mood it shakes his whole body and is super loud. Smiles he gives away for free.
- No-one can make him laugh like his two older siblings
- He somehow has self-regulated everything. Sleep, naps, eating. All according to a schedule that I had to work at with the other two
- He is moving backwards
- He loves being held and is held way more than either of his siblings
- He cries when he is not part of the action
- He rarely cries. Rarely.
- He loves TV to the point where Kimi and I will have to stop a show we are watching in the evening because he will do anything (except cry) with his little body to try and see the screen.

Alex you make having three so easy and fun and fit completely and perfectly into our family. We probably missed your first rolling over but we love you!

back in Rwanda

There are many things that have made coming back to Rwanda this time around an uncomfortable transition. I am so very happy that I know this place, that I know people here, that I have a community. Our car got broken into, my computer broke, Kimi's contracted a virus that wiped out his whole system, and Ayumi broke her wrist. It is easy for me to get discouraged. I go back to work on Monday to a job that I don't love leaving sweet baby Alex home. Even though all these transitions have been hard I feel blessed. Blessed to have friends who I can call and say "Ayumi broke her wrist and needs surgery, please pray." Friends who will do that and instead of asking questions right off the bat say "I am praying". Blessed to have co-workers spend the night on a cold hospital floor (with cockroaches) and advocate for Ayumi and her pain. Blessed to drive a crappy car that has nothing worth stealing. Blessed to have a friend come from Germany right when I needed a new computer. Life here is never boring and gives me infinite occasions to trust God

I recently read an interview with Brene Brown on embracing failure. She states

"I do think that we have somehow, in our pursuit of comfort and happiness, shifted a lot of value to fun, fast and easy. But it’s counterfeit value. The amount of energy it takes to live a life where you never fall down is so much. We’re enamored of grit, tenacity, courage, and perseverance, I think because they’re so rare. They’re truth. We have a sign in our house that says, “We do hard things.” We’re going to be called upon to do hard things. We can weather disappointment. I think people are desperate for that. I think they want to believe they’re brave and they want to be brave, but what they don’t understand is how difficult it is. There’s this cultural obsession with happy and comfortable. But what we really respect are people who can have tough conversations and get things done. In order to do that, we have to be very awake to our emotional lives."

Life is not meant to be easy. Instagram, Facebook and even blogs tend to make us forget that. It was not easy in Seattle, and is not easy here. But man, it's good and hard and scary and wonderful!

A third of year...

When looked at in this perspective I've been gone and out of Kigali for what seems like ages. So much good has happened in the space of four months. So much reflection, thought, fun, growth, bonding. Impossible to summarize in one blog post so here are the highlights (other than Alex being born which outclasses all other highlights by a mile).

- Reconnecting with family and getting to see my younger brother on a weekly basis
- Jonah is now speaking Dutch fluently
- Opa watching 101 dalmations 5 times with the kids and narrating the whole time
- new haircut for myself and then another one and then the final one
- Ayumi being able to have 1st grade with my 1st grade teacher
- Jonah being successful and charming the pants off his teachers in German kindergarten
- Reconnecting with old friends
- showing Ayumi my favorite childhood haunts
- Laguna - indoor water park fun
- indoor playgrounds
- grilling
- Seeing Bob Dylan play in Loerrach
- Seeing a classical concert
- Shopping with my mom
- watching my parents interact with my kids
- going to the Mediterranean for a family reunion
- Final seeing one of the most idyllic spots in France where my sister owns a house
- having Seattle friend come to visit and processing life intensely with her
- walking in our neighborhood

We are truly blessed, lucky, fortunate.

my computer broke so I am on Kimi's hence no pictures