Sometimes things just don't line up

Sometimes you have a day where tiny little things go wrong. It's almost like the universe is conspiring against you and trying to get you to change your plans, rethink your appointment. If that every happens. Listen.

Layna woke up on Saterday in a great mood. Got a cute dress on her and she even allowed us to put a clip in her hair which is usually a no-no. On the schedule for the day: Go to the post office in Des Moines to get Jonah his American passport. It's a family outing since both parents need to be present.

At breakfast we notice that our automatic gate is open. I didn't open it and neither did Kimi. However it's been on the fritz ever since the gate people came to "service it" a few weeks ago. Try both automatic clickers and the gate doesn't budge. At least it's open so that we can get the cars out. Will have to call on Monday to get it fixed. No big deal. After breakfast Layna is playing and all of a sudden gets this look on her face like she swallowed something extremely vile. Proceeds to vomit all over the floor. Hysterics and whining ensue. Again I thank my lucky stars. no vomit in the hair, no vomit on the couch or rug and she isn't even acting sick. Clothes come off. New dress on.

Meanwhile, Jonah is in dire need of a bath. Baby gunk is caked under his 3 chins. His mouth is surrounded with flaky dry milk and his baby acne has a nice build up of honey colored crusties. Kimi gets bath out and towel ready. Layna decides that she must see Jonah take a bath and must place her chair right where I need to stand to get a better view. We decide to divide and conquer. Layna goes outside with dad to play and I'm stuck with the bath routine on my own. Yipee. Start to undress Jonah for his bath and realize that he has soiled his onesie all the way out of the diaper and up the side. Again, good timing since it's bath time anyway. Poop stained shirt gets taken off smearing his back and belly along the way. Run to the room to get wipes and wipe some it off and into the bath he goes. Smiles and giggles ensue and I now think that I have the better end of the deal getting "stuck" with bath time.

All washed, clean, clothed and dry. Time to head out the door. We all get in the car and turn on our trusted navigation system to find out that it has frozen and the screen is turned black. Reset the navigation system and are finally off only a half hour late. Halfway to the post office Kimi looks at me and says "maybe we should have brought a bucket just in case Layna vomits again." My thoughts exactly about an hour ago. That thought vanished while rushing around getting paperwork, diapers, shoes, etc. She's fine. Happy and reading "hop on pop". Not 2 minutes later we hear a slight whimper and blech. Vomit all over the dress. I hurriedly grab tissues and try to hold them under her mouth. She is at this point and time a mess. Okay. This is doable. Pull over and get in the backseat next to her. Try and scoop up some of the vomit with tissues getting it all over my hands in the process. "maybe do the passport thing another day..." ventures kimi. If only I would listen sometimes....

Make it to the post office and wait....and wait....and wait... Finally get back to find out that the forms are filled out wrong. I could have sworn that in my sleep deprivation I made sure to triple check. I have been holding Layna so now am getting interviewed by a very kind postal worker with sputum up and down my front. She lets us redo the forms and we are headed back home. I've been trying to give Layna small sips of water. Not a smart idea. The back of the car smells like a porter potty and I'm sure that one of my children has also pooped (not actually the case) We almost make it all the way back and there she blows. No time for tissues so I catch most of the sputum (by this time her stomach is empty except for water) in my hand. Have I mentioned that I hate vomit/sputum. Give me diarrhea any day. We nearly go through a stop sign and off the road as Kimi tries to look back, help out and drive at the same time. More tears from Layna. More crying. More smell. My poor little girl.

We get home and Layna now decides that she is hungry. Listing every food in the book (bread, nutella, yogurt, rice, meat etc) that she wants to eat except for the three things that I will currently allow: water, gatorade, or pedialyte popsicle. "But I really wa-ha-ha-hant milk." Try explaining to a two year old why that can't happen. I feel hysterical giggles coming on at this point. How did we ever get here? So we are now on day 2 of stomach flu. Our day proceeded further along these lines: sleep, vomit, sleep, try to get her to drink, sleep, vomit, do a load of laundry. Repeat. Breastfeed somewhere in all this. Thankfully she is on the mend. No vomiting since last night and she was able to keep down some crackers today. So when the world doesn't line up and is telling you to stay home. Listen and stay home.